Stuck on Stupid, part 2

Is there a cure for being stuck on stupid? There has got to be a cure, as I can’t believe that being stuck on stupid has to be terminal. So, what needs to be done?

I’m convinced that, first of all, a nearly complete blackout of Christian media is part of the cure. There is no doubt that the likes of Copeland, Hinn, Parsley, Crouch, etc., while titillating to the ears (after all, don’t we just love anointed shouters?), contribute nothing to discipled, disciplined Christian living. All that they can do is entertain us with a ‘holy’ patter designed to separate us from our money to pay for their air time and luxuriant lifestyles.

I read a statistic that the Jehovah’s Witnesses tell their converts as a warning to them to be sure to continue to read their Watchtower magazine faithfully. The JW’s own studies show that if a JW stops reading the Watchtower and reads only the Bible, he will ‘backslide’ and depart from the JWs in less than a year. This is a deadly warning to them.

For Christians, this has a parallel. If I were a betting man, I would be willing to bet that if a Pentecostal who is stuck on stupid will give up their Copeland, Hinn, etc., that within a year, they would be on the road to healthy Christian living. Give up their literature, their tapes, their conferences, their prayer/appeal letters, their overpriced trinkets, etc.

Turn off the so-called Christian media and spend that time reading the Bible. Read books by Christian writers whose lives and ministries have demonstrated a hunger for God, and whose materials have stood the test of time, like A. W. Tozer, William Booth, Watchman Nee, Charles Finney and Andrew Murray.

Read biographies of Christians who have served God with their entire lives, such as martyrs and missionaries.

So what would this accomplish? Two things. First, like an alcoholic who starts going to AA, he would avoid contact with the poison that has ruined his life. A Christian avoiding the Woofers and Tweeters of Christian media is like an alcoholic going on the wagon. No more of the intoxication that poisons.

Second, this will give the Christian the big picture, the view of the Church and of history, from Christ until today. This will give him the solid meat of the word and whet the appetite for real teaching. Only when that derelict who has stumbled into AA, who has gotten cleaned up, who had gone on the wagon, begins to start eating healthy food does he begin recover and to regain his health.

So the beginning of the road back for a Christian stuck on stupid is to repent, and turn away from the very source of Stupid, today’s ‘Christian’ media.

"Stuck on Stupid", part 1

Several weeks ago, some reporters were badgering a Louisiana National Guard general who was involved with the Katrina and Rita relief. After he answered their first questions, he got frustrated with their attempts at playing “Media Gotcha,” and shut them down by telling them, “Don’t get stuck on stupid.” That man instantly became a cult hero and a new catch-phrase was born.

To me, “stuck on stupid” has been an occupational hazard in dealing with my fellow Pentecostal Christian. For years, I have maintained that Pentecostals are the most gullible people on the face of God’s green earth, always willing to fall for the next “great move of God.” No matter how far from the Bible the newest teacher/preacher/evangelist strays, as long as it is intriguing, as long as it feeds our egos, as long as it feeds our greed, my brothers and sisters in the Pentecostal wing of the church will believe, hype, defend and follow.

Want healing? Just send me $1000 for my specially anointed snotrag. Want prestige? Send money and join my Prayer Army, so you can become a Prayer Colonel. (How come there are so many prayer generals and colonels, and never a prayer private?) Afraid of dentists? God will give you gold fillings Want signs and wonders? Watch us shake gold dust out of our hair (yeah, it’s only plastic glitter, but is it specially anointed glitter!) Angels? They were here, because we’ve got their feathers falling out of the rafter.

I could go on and on, but that will give you an idea of what I have been knocking my head against for, lo, these many years. I am finally asking myself, “Why do I care about a people who, seemingly, are perpetually stuck on stupid?

Unfortunately, I am not getting very positive answers, anymore.

Beauty in Worship

“O worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness” Ps 96:9

As a member of Pentecostal/Charismatic churches for over 25 years, I know that we are known for exuberant worship. I have read many articles in Christian magazines and journals about how P/C churches have “taught the rest of the Church world to worship God.” There have been many articles I have seen about “worship wars,” the ongoing debate over using hymns from hymnals vs. praises choruses projected on walls and screens.

But this year I have become aware of something that is missing in our worship; at least, I felt it missing in my life.

I know that the verse above says that we are to worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness, and I wholeheartedly agree with that. (How could I disagree with the Bible?) But after visiting my family in Oregon this summer, I find that I truly miss an element of worship that the P/C wing of the Church know nothing about: Worshipping the Lord in Beauty.

While visiting my sister, I attended the church where she is a paid singer for the choir of a Presbyterian church in a suburb of Portland. Sitting in the back pew, I found myself overcome when the organist began playing an organ prelude by Bach. No words, no gospel slogan, just a grand pipe organ playing Bach. And tears began streaming down my face. My daughters looked at me askance, noticing that I wasn’t “normal.” Then when the choir marched in singing for the Introit (P/C’s look it up), I had to get my handkerchief out.

The following week, the girls and I attended a Musical Vespers at an historical church in Oysterville, WA (it’s on the Long Beach peninsula), where there was no preaching. The afternoon service, if it can be called that, consisted of prayers and music. We prayed, sang hymns and listened to classical music. For me, the Aaron Copland piece, Ching-a-Ring Chaw was the highlight.

And all this has got me thinking about what we P/C’s are missing. Oh, we can worship and get ourselves worked up. But are we, in our own way, just pleasing our own selves? Don’t get me wrong. I can’t begin to count the number of times that I have wept while singing choruses like, “As the Deer Pants For the Waters.” I have clapped and shouted during choruses of “Ill Fly Away.” I have bowed in awe while singing “I Exalt Thee.”

But, do we worship with beauty? Is there not a place for beauty in our services? I don’t know about others, but my visceral reaction to the beauty of the music and worship I experienced at these churches, and churches I have visited since I have returned, tells me that there must be. I know I miss beauty in today’s Pentecostal/Charismatic worship.